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Leif's avatar

This is an excellent piece, I’m on board with it 100% -- especially the notion of the family as “the last defense.” But one thing that haunts me about this argument, which I can’t seem to shake off, is what are we to then say to the many, many isolated people who are without significant family ties (or without family at all). Yes, for some folks who live disconnected from family we might argue they should engage in a sustained effort of reconnection with their family, and that in order to do so they’ll need to rethink their relationship to personal tech -- but what about those people for whom even that is not an option? Like it or not, this is the predicament that many Americans find themselves in (after all, we live in the “post-Bowling-Alone” era; not pre-era). I can think of many people who I know (or have known) who would fall into this category, but I’ll mention one in particular: a friend who lives a very isolated life; she is mid-60s, retired from working in insurance; never married, no kids; both her parents are long dead, and her sibling has all but sworn off any meaningful relationship with her due to the sibling’s religious conversion. Because my friend spends so much time on her phone alone, politics, specifically anti-Trump, has overtaken her entire life since 2016. Like someone gaining at least some nutrition from junk food, posting on facebook about politics has provided a (very) minimal but real amount of connection to others. Yet it’s nothing of any substance and in the end is a kind of salt water for the thirsty. I wonder how I would try to persuade her about limiting personal use of tech, especially since she would agree with me in the abstract that limiting it is wise. In any case, one avenue I can’t use with her is an argument involving family as she has effectively none at the moment and is unlikely to acquire more through marriage before she dies... This causes me to think that this is a point where the lack of a societal sense of the Good (beyond a sort of a libertarian “who is anyone to tell anyone how to live!” default) comes back to bite us. Due to this, I worry that without an argument that works for isolated individuals whose family is either inaccessible or dead, the reach of a family-first approach to tech disciplining is going to be one that leaves a great number of folks out. In other words, without an argument that can work at the individual level alone, without recourse to an important other(s), I think we’re going to ultimately be limited. I’m not sure where this leaves us, but I will say that one area I do think is promising, at least for a Christians, is to ask the question of whether “sin” might be a useful category in regards to tech usage. It would take some serious theological work, but I think there are real possibilities here. One might start with Paul Tillich’s “existential” notion of sin as that which “separates” us from God. In any case, I’m grateful for this post from Mr. Shullenberger as it has helped me think more deeply and widely on this question.

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Sage M's avatar

Well argued. So many addictions can't be overcome by sheer willpower but can be readily replaced with healthier interests and priorities. My last post touched on how developing manual skill can also train one to develop more discernment in attention. This can be especially helpful for more atomized individuals who don't have family as a lure from the screen.

Matthew Crawford's The World Beyond Your Head influenced my thinking on the subject - highly recommended for anyone invested in this topic.

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